grace windatama are :

i am Purple Sheep, who is gentle toward people, and likes to take care of others.
i am kind and possess graceful attraction.
i will not oppose to others, and no matter what, i always take a passive attitude.
i don't express my inner emotions easily, and will not actively lead others.
i tend to always take a safer path, and are rather timid.
i will not do anything adventurous.
i am type of women tends to have high aspirations, and hold huge expectation and ideals toward others. Therefore, in contradiction, i may be feeling dissatisfaction on the inside.
my personality is very cautious, and have observing eyes.
i'm good at reading other people's minds and feelings. And i don't get wrong.
i tend to manipulate people by using talent.
i'm also very intelligent and have great kowledge. (lol)
i'm always thinking of interests, before acting.
i tend to be rather temperamental person. And once i make up your mind, i don't easily change, and can be obstinate.
Although i value relationships with others, i also like being on your own.
Therefore i may suffer from my own contradiction.
Although i am a passive sort of person,i do possess perseverance and are a person of action.
Once i am on fire, i show unbelievable energy.
i like dressing up, so i am suited to follow my career than staying at home.

random question 1

1. Who are you?
full time dreamer and find-selfhood-person

2. Who is more important to you? Friends or boy/girlfriend?
None of the above! I am more important! Without me there is no such things as my friends or boyfriend anyway haha.

3. How often do you think of committing suicide?
do you mean like overthrow your body down at grand indonesia?geez..silly!

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
I will say it is average, somehow we have to do a thing called: refitting :p

5. How many babies you want?
between 2 or 3 will be great

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
honestly i have seen it just twice in my life. and it happened not really a long ago. but i think rainbow is sweeter to see on the childhood fairy tale, not in the real life

7. What is your goal for this year?
graduation by July 2010. ameen!

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
Eternity love? Wait let me go find my dictionary for that ;p. well every mother have an eternity love for their children. i believe.

9. What's a perfect boy/girlfriend like to you?
someone who caring. as simple as it is. anyone? :)

10. What feeling do you love most?
kind of precious feeling. i wanna be a precious thing for someone.

11. What are the requirements you wish from the other half?
Erm… er… cook for me? Hahaha.

12. Is there anything you wanna tell the people you hate?
hey life is too short to waste your time by detest someone. so please can we just be a friend?:)

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
Of course I do! Every single one of them..

14. What does flying mean to you?
SUPERMAN! Oh wait it should be SUPERGIRL!

15. What do you crave for the most currently?
i am a real omnivora, i eat many thing, and craving for it very often :)

16. Who's hotter? Chace Crawford or Kevin Peake?
oke, can i pick choky sitohang please? hahaha

17. What have you done to yourself make yourself happy?
by making something more positive in my own way, it really works to make me feel happier. try it folks!

18. If time were to rewind, when will you want it to be?
i wanna back when i was in elementary school, i wanna kiss my dad everytime before i go to sleep and say: 'i love you, you are the best dad ever, so please stay, never leave me for any reasons..'

19. What are your fear(s)?
God, being alone, and unproductive

new year conversation

i remember, my friend have told me about the conversation. her conversation with her belove one. and dont know why, their conversation are stick in my mind, for me it like a picturesque thing. sweet as candy, i guess.
ok,let me share it. but i am too afraid i will change its passion, so let me use bahasa instead :)

December, 31st. 23:57
pria : kamu lagi apa cantik?
wanita : aku lagi autis nih duduk deket jendela. ngeliatin bulan sama kembang api. anak anak kecil dikomplekku pada pasang kembang api. kamu lagi apa jelek?
pria : paraahh sama! aku juga lagi dibalkon ngeliatin langit tapi bedanya disini gak ada kembang api. cantik, maaf ya aku gak bisa ngelewatin malam ini sama kamu. jadinya kita gak bisa baremg bareng masuk ke tahun baru deh.
wanita : heh jelek..siapa bilang kita gak bareng2? bahkan kita aja sekarang lagi ngobrol. dan pandangan kita ada di satu titik yang sana: langit. kita lagi memandang objek yang sama. berarti sebenernya kita sekarang lagi sama-sama.
pria : iya yah.. aku jadi ngerasa deket sama kamu. karena kamu ngeliat apa yg aku juga liat.. cantik, aku janji tahun depan keadaannya 5cm dari bahu kamu ada bahu aku. kita tetep akan ngeliat langit yang sama bareng-bareng, tapi saat aku ngeliat kesamping,aku bisa ngeliat wajah kamu.. aku janji nih cantik. klo taun depan aku lupa, kamu boleh marah sama aku.

but unfortunately, 42 days after that conversation the boy is gone, without any lip service or see-sky-together-promise anymore. nothing's left..

he just gone..

setahun kemudian, dibulan dan tanggal yang sama, siperempuan duduk ditempat yang sama, dipinggir jendela. dengan objek pandangan yang juga sama : bulan dan kembang api.

"jelek, sekarang aku masih boleh marah gak?"

2009..

heiyhooo. 2009 sudah mau berakhir. and then gw mau ngerekap semuanya yg udah terjadi di tahun ini. ok, just start this random things in 2009:

*college life :

spektakuler sibuknyaa! gw kira menerima tawaran ferdy menjadi sekum hmjia gak bakal seribet ini. and totally wrong. ribet capek pusing adaa aja kerjaan. acara ini blom selesai acara itu muncul. tiap hari adaaa aja hearing dan rapat BPH. sumpek tapi menyenangkan. bisa deket sama orang orang baru yang mungkin dulu nyapa2an aja enggak. trus mereka (baca:anak2 hmjia) itu orang gila semuaa. bener2 gak pantes jadi pengurus kerjaannya ngelawak doang :p.

dan di tahun ini gw udah nyicil bikin skripsi> sampai sakarang masih stuck di bab 2. mudah2an awal 2010 bisa sidang outline yaa. oiya gw juga jadi ngerasa deket sama adm, khususnya niaga. kalo gw flashback ke 3 taun yang lalu boro boro deh. super gak nyamann. tapi sekarang: they are super precious :) and everytime i think that someday very soon, we will live this life by ourselves. confronting the world, struggle, and no more sharing a jokes-laughing-bull session is really make me feel wistful.

*daily life :

2009 ditutup sama gw yang akirnya ngerasain juga namanya magang. cape dan super gak betah . kerjaan gw super banyak (meriset dan menganalisa 18 produk) dan gw ngelakuin itu sendiri. apalagi penyesalan gw bertambah setelah xl dan sariayu ternyata juga menerima gw. well, Allah know what's best. so the last thing i can do is face it and grateful :)

oiyaa ditahun 2009 ini juga gw punya aktivitas baruu yg menurut gw lucu. knapa lucu? karena gak kebayang banget sebelumnya diotak gw gw akan pakai baju betawi, dikonde, dan lenggak lenggok dipanggung ;p. yeaa, it was fun actually. i can get new xperience, new opportunity to learn and love this city, meeting many amazing friends, and gain extra money of course ;)

*love life :

tahun ini ada orang yang setia banget nemenin gw. tahun ini menurut gw bener2 jadi masa super adaptasi antara gw dan dia. karena pada dasarnya kita itu supeeeer beda. satu minggu yang lalu kita ngobrol berdua. didalem mobilnya,didepan rumah orang, malem malem, tentang 'kita'. setelah beberapa menit yang sedikit emosional well, we prove it that love will find their way. and the result is : we are still together and happy. like he always said : 'dont give up gis, never give to love me'.. and i just can say :' dear, am i look like that? you are the perfect thing i ever had in my life'. mengutip salah satu kata kata penulis favorit gw : hati itu dipilih, bukan memilih.. dan hati gw dipilih dia,begitupula sebaliknya :)

dan akhirnya gw cuma bisa bilang ke Allah SWT :

overall this is so convivial.. terima kasih Tuhan untuk semua nikmat yang tidak terhitung, kado yang luar biasa indah, Cinta yang sangatlah besar.. karena aku (selalu) tahu Kau selalu berada ditempat yang sama, menjagaku dan milyaran umatMu :)

mimpi :)

oke, hari ini gw dateng kekantor terlalu kepagian. kerjaan numpuk. tp gak tau kenapa malah lagi pengen cerita, gara gara tadi dibusway mikirin sesuatu.
mimpi..

sejujurnya, gw bukan tipikal seorang pemimpi handal. dari kecil impian gw itu sangat cetek. gw suka kagum sama orang yang mimpinya konstan. dia tau apa yang dia mau dan dia terus berpegangan sama hal itu. jadi dia tau kmana harus melangkah. kiri atau kanan.
sedangkn gw?
mimpi gw macem macem. dinamis. waktu sd gw hampir tiap hari ganti cita cita. dari mulai pengen jadi desainer sampe atlit renang. waktu smp,gw pengen jadi (astagfirullah) ahli matematika. beneran ini serius.. gw punya mimpi mau masuk jurusan matematika di itb. (aduh anak smp emang labil bgt yaa. matematikaaa gituu.gw aja bngung sekarang bisa bisanya gw punya cita2 sesusah itu :P).
trus pas sma nyokap udah mulai ngepush jadi dokter like my sister does. tp walaupun gw sering berganti cita cita, gak tau knapa mnjadi dokter gak ada di pikiran gw. aneh yaa, dari segala atlit renang sampe ahli matematika bisa,tp dokter yg kayanya so generaal itu gak gw pengen..

nah sampailah gw dititik gw mulai agak tau apa yg gw mau. gw mau jadi psikolog! kenapa? karena gw sangat senengg mengamati orang, menganalisanya, dan ingin mereka menceritakan pengalamannya ke gw. ok, gw tau menjadi psikolog gak akan sesimple itu. tapi tetep aja gw merasa punya modal buat itu.hihi, gw sampe rela masuk ips demi ngejar psikologi ui. wihh bokap gw meledak pas tau gw masuk ips dan lebih meledak lagi pas tau alasan gw..
yap, intinya mereka berdua gak setuju dengan sejuta alasan yg ada.

dan gw? diam. gw gak berjuang buat mimpi gw. crap. weak girl. am i?

itulah salah satu yg gw pikirin..gw itu kok gak berjuang ya buat mimpi gw? orang orang rela banting tulang buat ngejar cita citanya dan gw baru dapet halangan dari orangtua aja langsung diem. menyerah..
dan akhirnya sampailah gw di posisi ini, mahasiswa semester akhir administrasi niaga konsentrasi marketing. 1tahun pertama diniaga berasa kayak dineraka. gak betahhh.. tapi 3 tahun terakhir?it feels like heaven :)

dan sekarang gw sudah punya mimpi baru. mimpi yg sudah tidak boleh berputar dinamis lagi mengingat umur gw yang tidak memungkinkan lagi. dan sekarang gw mau memebayar kesalahan gw dulu yang diam. yang tidak bergerak meraih apa yang gw mau.

dan akhirnya : fokuslah dengan apa yang kalian punya, bukan dengan apa yang kalian tidak punya..

so folks, what is your dream? :)

simple statement of trust :)

If you say left,
for me it will be left without any doubt...
if you say right,
for me it will be right without any conditions
no matter which side it is,
the important thing is....

trust

another serendipity

You don't have to understand,You just have to have faith.

and then when people said : Faith in what?

and the answer just : Destiny